Depression can be an incredibly complex and individualized experience; making it difficult for loved ones and caregivers to provide support. If someone you love is experiencing depression, you may be feeling an array of emotions such as helplessness, frustration, anger, guilt, and sadness. All of these feelings are valid and natural responses. When a loved one is affected by depression, it can be difficult to understand or know how to help. The more you learn about depression, how it affects people and how it can be treated; the better you will be equipped to provide support for your loved one.
Depression is a serious, but treatable condition that drains a person’s energy, optimism, and motivation. Visualizing depression as a downward spiraling staircase is a great way to gain perspective on what your loved one is experiencing. Imagine they are going down a deep spiraling staircase and is experiencing difficulty turning around or finding an open door without support or guidance. As your loved one’s mood worsens and they’re unable to cope with life daily’s stressors, they can get stuck in this downward spiral for weeks.
Family and friends are often the first line of defense for individuals experiencing depression; therefore it is very important to learn the signs and symptoms of depression. Depression symptoms vary from person to person, but they can include:
• Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports
• Insomnia or sleeping too much
• Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
• Changes in appetite — reduced appetite and weight loss, or increased cravings for food and weight gain
• Anxiety, agitation, or restlessness
• Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or taking unnecessary blame for things
• Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
• Frequent or recurrent mention of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or death from suicide
Although you can’t “fix” someone’s depression, what you can offer is unconditional love and support. This means being compassionate and patient, which is not always easy when dealing with someone who is hostile, negative, or moody.
Here’s some ways you can help:
• Provide support: You can’t force anyone to get help for depression, but you can assure them it’s ok to ask for help and that support is out there. Express your willingness to help them set up appointments and go along with them.
• Let them know you are willing to listen: The best thing a family or friend can do is listen. Let them know it’s a safe space to speak honestly and without judgement.
• Encourage activity: Invite your loved one to join you in uplifting activities. Going on walks together is one of the easiest options and it’s a great way to get some exercise in.
• Take care of yourself: Remember your mental health is important too. Validate your feelings and prioritize your own mental health by devoting time to meaningful activities.
People who are depressed are at an increased risk for suicide. If you believe a loved one’s illness is severe or a life-threatening emergency, please reach out to these resources for help:
• Call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988. To reach the Veterans Crisis Line, use the same number and press “1.”
• Call 911.
• Contact a health care professional or hospital.